inside.

what do you want in exchange?

yelling through my teeth as if words came from lungs 

& lungs came for war

WHAT IS THE FUCKING TRADE FOR THIS?

hardly anything i have ever given up has been by choice..

my memories? my childhood? the ocean? an offering.

My hands full of blood & beats from the hearts of people clueless in their devotion to what I could be.

all in their dreams like a nightmare

all in their hopes like reality.

what do i give in exchange for feeling?

what do i surrender in exchange to see what is like

to have a wild heart beating in the middle of the chest.

YOURSELF.

the trade is yourself.

this Me for that Her.

hungry and eager for a new thing, decisions being made like life couldnt change.

tired of seeing everything around me in ashes.

tears falling in proximity

winds cursed in distance

if i ran, i was found.

if found, i was running again before my hand were tied.

a master of escape.

so lets trade.

poor little girl.

trading her shadows for light not knowing she was born in fire

willingly setting aside the less pleasant in plain sight

AS IF LIFE COULD CHANGE.

but where there was once a fire, ashes remain.

FUCK THE TRADE AND THE TRAITOR

FUCK THE MOTHER AND THE CHILD

all in reality like the last hope.

all in their nightmares like a familiar face.

a shadow for a light will make my whole body bright

and i hate attention.