inside.

I almost said
what father
the other day.
as if there was another.
as if there was a single person in existence who id consider.
as if theres ever been a doubt.
but it was the strangest thing.
as if my mother found me in a garden
as if i wasnt my fathers daughter
as if i wasnt anyones daughter
as if i wasnt one at all.
maybe im a sister and a cousin and one day someones mother even.
as if i didnt have one
as if i came from dirt and flowers.
who takes your mothers throne?
who sits in her seat
as if i said to you
her and i are versions of eachother
no storks
no births
we were split in half by half gods
persistent with their methods.

here goes judith

here goes her mother

here goes her father

like a little girl looking for her parents in a pigs pen

i’d recognize my mothers tone in a sea full of “i told you so’s”

born by my parents

you’ve never met a woman so down the middle

my fathers anger and my mothers patience

as if i could be anything else

as if i had a choice

we share more than just blood.

we share tragedies.

we share heartbeats.

we share visions.

the other day i missed my father in all of his years of absence so i said

“what father”

as if life revolved around anything else.